What Is Bogosity?

Bogosity is a branch of science first developed at Carnegie-Mellon University. They developed several pieces of bogus jargon in the process:

bo·gos´i·ty: The state or condition of being bogus

bo´gon: The elementary particle of bogosity, primarily used in quantum bogodynamics (q.v.)

bogon emitter: An object that emits bogons, thereby increasing the bogosity of the surrounding area (e.g., a malfunctioning device, a psychic, Microsoft Windows)

bogon filter: An object that negates the bogons emitted by a bogon emitter (e.g., the IT guy who watches as you show him the problem with your computer, at which point it starts behaving normally)

bo·go´me·ter: (also, British, bogometre) A device used for measuring bogosity levels (e.g., an attendant to a creationist seminar might exclaim, “My bogometer just pegged!”)

quantum bogodynamics: A field of study involving the behavior of bogosity at the particle level

The science of bogosity was further developed at the Institute for Completely Bogus Studies, again with the development of further jargon:

BhD: a bogus doctorate degree

bogus doctor: one who holds one or more doctorate degrees, all of which are completely bogus (e.g., Kent Hovind)

bhogium: a theoretical chemical element and theorized component of bogon emitters; difficult to confirm as its atomic number can change by the hour or even by the minute, depending on what’s on TV (especially problematic since the introduction of The Oprah Network)

clu´on: The antiparticle of a bogon, the particle of knowledge and skepticism; when emitted, the bogons are annihilated, reducing bogosity levels

cluon emitter: An object that reduces bogosity; distinguished from a bogon filter in that it acts upon a third party instead of filtering the bogons at their source (e.g., James Randi is a cluon emitter; his Million Dollar Challenge is a bogon filter)

fu´ton: The neutral bogosity particle, the particle of ignorance and apathy; when present in a third party, it inhibits the ability of cluons to annihilate bogons (e.g., in any given Sylvia Browne fan when hearing James Randi)

milliGeller: (also, milliGel; abbr mGel) a unit for measuring bogosity levels; 1 milliGeller is the average bogosity emitted by one politician speaking on C-SPAN for one hour

sar·cas´i·tron: Unconfirmed theoretical particle, possibly the antiparticle of a futon; allows bogons to survive the presence of cluons while negating their effect (e.g., TheOnion.com, The Colbert Report)